As talked about in “Retail & MH”, the degradation of my anxiety started because of a work related problem. My crisis remained for maybe a year until I started getting better with the help of constant therapy for 9months while unemployed, and medication.
Progressly, that crisis looked more like a bad dream and when I go back to that time, the memories of it just feels so surreal. I know that has been something that was real and that I really went through, but my better mindset counter the “you are depressed/anxious and had ALWAYS felt like that”, which don’t have any effects on me anymore. It’s a truth that I now feel so much more happier in general than I was back then, which would’ve felt so much rarer.
We can never be the same as we were before the worst happened; that experience did shaped us in a way. No matter what happens afterward, know it will never be the same – but you’ll also be much stronger and with hopefully better coping mecanism.
When I was younger, I had my dad’s bad temper. I was quick to get mad and would react in much greater ways – in fact, both of us having the same traits would make us do sparks. Obligating mom to get between us to stop it before it downgrades. Being so young when it happened, I may have forgotten some of my traits.
What the crisis had done in my personality traits, is that now I can no longer hold any emotions. That was my first red flag – after being used to be so strong and make sparks, I would cry whenever someone would yell at me; and it’s still the case. I also appear to be calmer it seems, when however needing more time for me to concentrate and get my imagination going. I’m no longer a “party girl” either.
Sometimes I do feel like i’m missing my younger self, specially the one going to parties and having fun without being eaten alive by the anxiety; but however, i’m not absolutely mad about what I became either.. The bad temper is not something I miss, and am quite happy to have gotten calmer through that.
If you’ve gone through that as well, did you noticed some personality changes?